A Day In The Life Of Gustavo Palomino

By Gustavo Palomino

Today I woke up and everything was perfect for just an instance.  I got out of bed and I starting feeling anxious about going to the classes I didn’t want to go to.  I thought to myself, “I am just tired of school…I don’t want to be here anymore…this is a waste of my time.”  I went to my first class, and sat there.

The professor went on and on and I wondered what the hell she was talking about…it seemed like irrelevant crap.  Part of me felt guilty about feeling this way because I have received a lot of financial aid, and the thing I wanted the most at one point in my life was to go to college.  It was my dream.  

After class I decided to go the library to do a paper for the class that I hate the most.  Why this class exists, I am still not sure.  As I was entering the library I noticed that half the kids were wasting space by talking about worthless garbage while the other half were either doing work quietly or pretending to do work quietly.  I walked up to a computer and right before I sat down I locked eyes with a beautiful girl that I know from somewhere in school.  She was perfect.  

After a couple of seconds of looking at each other she looked away…and quickly left the scene.  I wondered if she liked me.  I wondered if she thought I liked her, and she didn’t like me…so she ran away.  Did I even care about her that much?  Was I only after her because she was beautiful?  Her beauty was the driving reason…but I also kind of actually liked her.  I sat down and began writing a worthless paper about nothing that has any meaningful substance.  

After I was done with my paper, I went to get a coffee at that shitty new coffee shop next to subway.  The service was terrible.  I ordered a mocha iced latte.  It tasted like mud, it wasn’t even cold and the “barista” was extremely slow.  I assumed she was new.  This person receiving a job made me lose hope in mankind.   Shortly after that I thought about when I used to be a new “barista.”  I hated it, and I was terrible at it.  I didn’t give a crap about how she felt…that made me feel guilty.  

I then thought about going to my last class, but getting burned alive seemed like a better idea, so I went home.  On the Rutgers bus ride home, I felt lonely, and also disgusted by the smell of the other students.  How could you allow yourself to smell that bad?  When I finally arrived at my stop I noticed that the bus driver looked miserable.  I got off the bus and starting thinking about him.  I realized that I see him at least twice a week and every time I see him he looks miserable.  I felt bad for him.  What a horrible life he must have to feel so awful.  

When I got home, I ran into my room to avoid my family.  I love them, but I rarely enjoy their presence.  They don’t get it.  I sat in front of my computer and began thinking about that girl I saw in the library.  I could easily get in touch with her, but I was too afraid.  I questioned my fear, but in the end it won.  Maybe there is still hope for us.  

After all this, I started worrying about the future.  I’ve been doubting myself recently.  Sometimes it feels like I am losing my convictions.  It’s sort of like in the LONG process of working for what I wanted…I stopped wanting it…although I never reached it.  How could I know I don’t want what I never had?  Maybe I was making excuses to give up.  I decided to do my best to keep fighting for what I think want…since that is all that I have.  

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About rutgersobserver

The official student newspaper of Rutgers-Newark.
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